Late Night Rambling, Vol. 11: Substances - 12/20/11

"And every shot she takes is a bullet to the soul...killing all her feelings, turning her heart so cold. The men didn't care, they were no better; using joints like hollow points to shoot through their emotional fetters. And for the night, both sides were free...disconnected from right or wrong, detached from yes or no. Estranged from their best interests, their worst inklings were bound to show. Decisions lost the supervision of a sound mind. It all came down to impulse. Primal instincts were catalyzed by substance abuse. What you wanted was determined by your substance of use. The drunk girls wanted sex, the weedheads wanted to chill. Those doing both were confused, but they all wanted something real...which is ironic. They all chose to leave reality to get what they wanted. When the hangovers hit, and the clouds from the dutches dissipated, they were all as disappointed as anticipated. They left the world in hopes of finding it...it's very easy to confuse following your heart with blinding it."

-A. Lewis

Late Night Rambling, Vol. 10: On Women and Character - 12/20/11

"At the end of the day, all women want is assurance. To know that they'll be loved, taken care of, protected, and won't be left in the middle of the night. There's only one way to achieve assurance, and that's through character. Consistent behavior through the integration of one's paradigm into decision-making and actions is character. The number one trait is accountability; a man of character intimately knows how fickle a reputation can be, and constantly takes heed of the fact that one questionable or inappropriate action can wipe out any pattern of positive action hitherto. When one's personality is as solid as a rock, it becomes the foundation not only for great friendships, but for great relationships as well. Honesty, responsibility, consistency, morality, altruism, humility...all facets of character, all necessary traits for a man, all traits conducive to a positive, strong relationship."

-A. Lewis

Introspection - 12/13/11

"Honestly, there are times where I forget what a friend is...feeling alone on a journey while unsure of what the end is. Trying to remain some type of optimistic; so much is going on that I'd have to stop to miss it. Nights of reflection, days of effort. A heart of gold but spots of darkness, emotions like a leopard. Decisions peppered with grains of salt...girls disappearing and it's appearing like it's all my fault. Despite technology bringing us closer, I'm still distant from those who matter. Friendships are supposed to be tapestries, but all I have are tatters. Supposed to be cooking up great things for the world, but I'm getting stuck in the batter...taste it enough and your contentment gets fatter, doing all I can to hide it by being dapper. Just to get through the night I write, moonlighting as a pseudo-rapper, spending time creating rhymes to get it all out; it's dangerous to keep it all in. Maybe it's time for some new clothes and sneakers to fall in. Anything to keep the paradigm from completely stalling. I'll answer my desires before my needs when they come calling. Seems like uncertainty is a way of life these days...as much as it's given me to think about, it's given me a lot to write these days..."

-A. Lewis

My Job As A Father - 12/13/11

"The way I see it, my job as a father starts long before a child ever comes into my life. Working on my character, creating a lifestyle conducive to a child, making sure the mother is someone not only that I like, but that would be a great mother so the child would have two loving and involved parents, not having people in my life that wouldn't be good influences, having a stable home and good financial standing ahead of time...it's all pivotal, in my eyes. I just refuse to bring a child into this world when I can't give she or he more than I had in my childhood, when I'm not where I would want to be as a father, when the time just isn't right. I take it so seriously...and that's why I focus on being a young man of quality so much. My job as a father began when I was old enough to become one."

-A. Lewis

Signed: One of Your Dream Men - 12/11/11

"And to the sweet ladies: I wish you even sweeter dreams, that you can rest on the comfort of your current success and nocturnally conceive even deeper things. May your slumber provide you with the rest you've earned, and this time of reflection and introspection bring you new truths, the best you've learned. I know that the Sandman can't keep you warm at night, but I appreciate him tucking you in. He's just doing the job until a worthy soul comes along and reminds you of the dreams you've had of finding romance. As you close your eyes, know your rise is subsequent to this period of mental convalescence and that with the sunrise your essence will once again shine through all that you do. Enjoy this night, sleep tight, and let your mind rewind the day to catch up on how much you grew. Good night. Signed: one of your dream men."

-A. Lewis

A Freestyle Piece: There's Something Toxic About Talent - 12/11/11

"There's something toxic about talent...something poisonous about potential, something pernicious about the possibility of being preeminent or a prodigy. The oddity is that the ability to do something great is often the greatest opportunity to fail; the distance between one's current state and one's expected level of success is an unfathomable chasm, one that greets those that don't span the distance with a terrible mental hell. The pressures of what one 'should do' fall on top of the lofty goals of what one 'could do,' which compile the guilt felt by not acting on all of what one 'would do.' All that's created is an amalgamated bomb...a spiritual ball of negative energy that will eventually explode. Stars normally implode as a result, following the cycle of a supernova...and as they die out on the inside, they release their most beautiful compositions, fleeting glimpses into the true greatness that drove them beyond mediocrity into oblivion. Innate ability is a gift and a curse...and the only determinant between the two is the individual's ability put their own needs first. Listening to all of the praise and the prognosticating will only prove to be the beginning of the end: while the unbridled use of the ability can bring others together, indecisiveness and unsurety of how to let it shine naturally can oneself rend."

-A. Lewis

A Freestyle Piece: Looking Down, Looking Around, Looking Forward - 12/7/11

"The ills of this world are increasingly rising to the surface...I often feel like if I'm fortunate enough to have children, they won't know what peace on this earth is. Holy wars...what are they called holy for? They aren't divinely ordained, and as they drag on, perversion is all that remains. The causes get lost, the reasons become convoluted. It's just as pitiful as the actions of the world's bankers, whose greed can't be refuted. Steer this country to hell, benefit from rebuilding it. Destroy that country in the name of liberty, begin bleeding its resources while healing it. Children are being victimized, left starving, and denied the foundation of a family. All without an explanation of what's happening. As darkness is encroaching, I can only hope that a change is approaching, rolling in on the ever-turning wheels of love. If, by some great movement or another, we can somehow learn to understand, appreciate, and love each other, we won't feel the need to harm our sisters and brothers. And just maybe, if the situation improves and bleakness of the future is removed, we can lose our fear of being fathers and mothers."

-A. Lewis

Just A Nightcap - 12/7/11

"I like the way your eyes sparkle like the champagne...this is no game, but if it was, I'd be playing the campaign. I'm on a mission to get to the final level, the last chapter; normally a nice guy, but tonight, you know what I'm after. Tonight is special, this one in particular. Gonna work out all your problems; activities, extracurricular. Similar to a child's game as you get weak; whenever I hide my face, you go peak. Seek not to handle it, simply enjoy it. My charm's a hard worker, the way that I employ it. Deploying missiles of gentle touches to sensitive places leave you with tentative faces that vary with the speed at which your blood races. Do just enough for you to want it more; you're such a shopper, pining for what's in store. Enough waiting, you're calling me with those baby eyes...gonna cradle your body like Jordan did the rock in 85...."

-A. Lewis

A Freestyle Piece: I'm Not The Type - 12/6/11

‎"I'm not the type to impress you just to undress you...unless it's taking off that bulletproof vest you wear to protect your heart. We have to connect to start. I'm trying to bridge points A & B, get from 'you and I' to 'we,' and create an opportunity to see what's been hiding behind all those walls. Guys have to go through a maze to get to the real you, and I refuse to do that and risk never getting to feel you. You're a young lady of many layers, and I'm going to peel you until I get to the core...find out what you're willing to die and live for, figure out what makes you give and what you'd like to get more. I'm not content with the surface, nor is the physical enough. How you're willing to be shallow at length, making wide statements? It won't work for me. X and Y are ok, but I'm about that Z-axis: depth. What's inside of you, what makes you tick. And with time as a fourth dimension, I can guarantee this won't be quick. Why? Because I'm not the type to impress you just to undress you...keep your chastity belt on so I can mentally test you and spiritually assess you. What you've been hiding is the best you..."




-A. Lewis

Late Night Rambling, Vol. 9: Time to Bridge the Gap - 12/2/11

‎"There's an old me; there's a new me. Up to now though, no one has told me that at some point they knew me. Throughout all of the change, I've remained essentially the same. Transitioning from Urkel to Stefan with only a few toes stepped on has been an interesting journey. But before who I used to be ends up on a gurney, I'm taking time to get back to my roots. There was a time where I knew more about grammar than I did about lapels on suits. Used to collect new words like I now collect new ties. Was once excited about new knowledge like I am about new buys. Went from hermit to fledgling socialite, looking to trade nights of google searches about 'what the fabric of life on Earth is' into a social life. To go from carrying a dictionary everywhere to swearing by GQ is quite a change...but with time as a constant, there's no need to fight a change. However, progress can be a trap. That's why before the new me gets too far from what my core values are, I'm working to bridge the gap."

-A. Lewis

Late Night Rambling, Vol. 8: Honesty About Myself - 12/1/11

‎"Honestly, even though I dislike it when young ladies show some sort of interest in me then disappear off the face of the Earth, there's a part of me that can't blame them; I understand the gravity of my situation. Here I am, about to be 21, yet I don't know a thing about kissing or intimacy, and I'm a virgin. Those aren't necessarily problems, but asking a young lady at this age to teach me so much? I feel like that's asking a lot...especially when they're looking to be enthralled by an experienced guy that can show them things. I love that I meet such great young ladies...i just hope one is eventually willing to help me unearth the greatness underneath this remaining innocence."

-A. Lewis