3:18 AM

No matter how great a night turns out...
Before the lights turn out,
You'll creep up on me.
Getting home and chilling alone,
The events of the night slowly fade.
Despite the memories made,
I find myself thinking about you.
What's a good time without you?
It's always great to see you enjoy yourself;
Our great times are unlike any else.
I'd love to share my fun,
Seeing as I don't share these thoughts.
Instead,
I'll just go shower, and get in the bed,
Counting the sheep in your field of forget-me-nots.
The same place you always hide.
Maybe one day I'll close the chapter,
But for now, I'll settle for rest and close my eyes.

-TAA

6:05 AM

Why is it that every time I miss you
You make it seem like a non-issue?

Why is it that every time I want to see you
It feels like I don't even have a way to reach you?

Why do you always go missing?
When you know my feelings are so insistent...

...consistent, persistent.
All three apply.
When it comes to you,
The well just won't run dry.
I dig deeper and deeper,
All I do is try.
All I want is a little reciprocity,
And you just can't seem to comply.
Caring defies logic,
Yet, on my feelings, you can rely.
I'm always interested in your conversation,
Yet, I never want to pry.
I also want to tell you that I don't care anymore,
But, I'm not one to tell such a stark lie.
I've always felt we could be something special,
That our story was written in the sky.
I've been vocal about it all;
I've heard nothing even close to a reply.
I wish you'd give me some answers;
Maybe things would be clear enough for me to say "goodbye."
Deep down, you know nothing keeps a gentle heart around
Like letting it spin its wheels on the endless carousel of "why."
Too kind to get fed up,
Too hopeful to let "maybe" pass by.
Such is the nature of our bond;
The complexity of you and I.
It could all be so simple,
But before you let me get close, you'd rather die.
And you're afraid that letting me in
Would allow me to learn why.

-TAA

4:16 AM

My views on love
Have changed with the times.
Maybe...
Just maybe, you can change my mind.
It's tough out here.
Some bring old dirt into new homes;
Others shack up,
Just to more comfortably roam.
None of us really want to be alone,
But we don't even know how to thrive independently.
...which I suppose is why we develop dependency.
Feelings often seem mature
While connections are in their infancy.
Infatuation is just a matter of initial intensity,
Emotions overwhelmed by new stimulation.
Though sticky, it's a temporary situation;
That phase will give way to what's real,
Though that flame, that sensation
Should be a reminder of why both parties decided to build.
The thing is,
Someone worth the effort
Can be hard to find.
My views on love
Have changed with the times.
Maybe...
Just maybe, you can change my mind.
Dating often feels like work.
And no one wants to give effort to an eventual lost cause.
However,
We should all put the prognostication on pause.
We're so afraid of having the rug pulled,
So afraid of getting hurt, we won't even text people first.
Forever misconstruing "thirst,"
Tainting the future by assuming the worst.
Quite a defense mechanism,
Seeing as we're not really afraid of those things.
What's truly scary is someone seeing our true, raw selves,
And knowing what that means.
Giving someone the power to cut where the scars already are,
And knowing what that brings.
Vulnerability.
That's a word we avoid, a word we deny,
A word that leads to stories of affection told from one side.
Miscommunication runs rampant,
Trust issues end up at an all-time high.
It can be difficult to find someone
That simply inspires me to try.
The thing is,
My views on love
Have changed with the times.
Maybe...
Just maybe, you can change my mind.

-TAA

3:58 AM

I really do...
I still do.

I know I shouldn't,
But I still care.
The feelings
Those damn feelings
Still there.
Memories flicker
Like flames deep within in a cave;
I assume the winds of time will extinguish,
But they merely provide the sway.
Shadows dance along the walls,
And I care for you, yet another day.
We just couldn't get it right.
Attempting to connect
Was like trying to start a fire;
I suppose that's why sparks flew
I suppose that's why it burned us both.
I suppose that's why I still feel warmth,
When I hold those memories close.
Time may heal all wounds,
But it cannot make us immune
To the recurrent ache of heartbreak,
Nor spare us the gloom.
So, deep in the darkness of my scars
Where the light of learning a lesson can't reach,
Memories flicker
Like flames deep within a cave.
Still there.
Those damn feelings
The feelings.
I still care,
But, I know I shouldn't.

...yet, I still do.
I really do.

-TAA