Knowledge Has Been Dropped - 8/6/09

These are my responses to "Do Black Women Limit Themselves When It Comes To Men?"


Black men take Black women for granted. It's that simple. There's a double standard, and Black men have taken it further. The double standard is that Black women are 'supposed' to date Black men because Black is beautiful and they're supposed to have a beautiful Nubian love. Black men on the other hand, feel like they're the best lovers in the world and believe they deserve to have any woman they want since Black women are always there. I think Black women have made themselves overly available. Throughout all of the strife and rigamarole, they stick with Black men. The Black male psyche has been affected by this, and now most men think, "hey, if I do her wrong and she leaves, so what? I'll just go get another." Black women have become a commodity in the minds of some Black men: they won't date out because of the standard, but they won't leave you because of they same standard. And so Black men feel entitled.

While some of this does fall on the shoulders of Black men, (see my comment above) Black women have contributed as well. Too often do Black women pick the wrong men then use them as examples for all men. I did generalize in my first comment, but I would like to say that not all Black men are the same. Not all take Black women for granted, just like not all will drag you through the mud. However, when a woman conditions herself to look for a particular type of guy, then gets done wrong by that SAME type repeatedly, it affects her mentally. You think you're picking good types, and they all do you wrong; Black women think it's the men, but to be honest, it's a bit of both. You didn't pick a 'good man,' and the man you picked wasn't good to you. Some Black women don't realize that they date the same guy repeatedly rather than changing up what they look for. When you think you're dating good men that keep doing you wrong, you end up in this mindset.

We, as a race, are THE most mentally inhibited. We think so much of perception, still have issues from the mental subjugation of slavery and Jim Crow, feel the need to uplift ourselves but lack the drive to do so, divide amongst ourselves for no reason, and so on and so forth. We could talk all day about the issues with our race. That being said, we focus on our race too much. We make everything racial. Sure this is a good discussion, but at the heart is something that has no race at all: happiness. I agree with the people that say "date who makes you happy." Dating isn't about uplifting Black people, nor is it about finding the most successful individual. It's about finding someone that makes you happy and that you can grow with. When you think about it, at the crux of this, the majority of what we've said is extrinsic to the matter of love...love knows no color either. Love and happiness are what really matter, and that's what we should really be worried about.

-A. Lewis