4:44 AM

You'll hear from me
When I'm not hearing from anyone else.
That said...
I can't tell if I'm fooling you,
Or fooling myself.
Does it mean we're so close
That we don't have to talk often?
Our relationship is special,
And we do give each other room to blossom.
I mean...you are awesome.
But why do I only think of you when I'm lonesome?
Does it mean you're just convenient?
Sticking around, waiting for more,
Offering benefits that I'm reaping?
It's confusing...
But there's so much certainty.
I know you'll pick up.
I know you'll come.
I know it's good...
I know I'll come.
All that coming,
Yet we can't arrive at a conclusion.
Feels real in those moments...
But in retrospect, it's like an illusion.
...is it a delusion?
Are we deceived by how close we get
Not realizing how distant we really are?
Never more than a text away,
Doubts get sexed away,
But once getting pulled back in wears off,
Our personal lives seem really far.
Different pages
Different chapters
Different books
Different genres
What does that all mean,
If our love of reading is what we have in common?
We've searched for each other's deeper meanings
We appreciate how our life stories have been written
Most people just read a chapter or two
And think that first spark means they're smitten.
I wish our situation was that simple.
All of these feelings between us
Is it a mine field, or a garden of common ground?
I'm as uncertain as ever...
But, I'm sure I want you around.
...right now.
In this instant.
While my options have gone missing.
Need the security, the familiar warmth, of something consistent.

-A. Lewis