Message In A Bottle (The Drunk Text)

If I drunk texted you,
Would you suddenly want me next to you?
Even if I didn't want the best for you?
Even if I only wanted sex with you?
There's a reason I hit you up...
You think it's because I've been missing you all along,
But it's really because you're what's safest when I'm all alone.
I remember all of the nights we had together,
So I figure we can be confused and sad together,
Right after we relive what we used to do after we got mad, together.
You assume I must've changed...
That my feelings have now been rearranged,
That I'm ready to admit I was wrong and I want to try it again...
But I'm really just trying to get inside it again.
You were a safe haven for my troubles;
I want you to provide it again.
You always gave love unconditionally,
And that's what I need.
Insecurity is a fire that burns within me,
So when I drink, I also feed.
My speech is slurred,
I'm misspelling my words,
I'm really in no shape to persuade you...
But the memories pervade you...
You lose perspective in the collective feelings,
Forget what time it is, and your defenses end up reeling.
Your soundness of mind is what I'm stealing,
Trying to replace the soundness of mine since it got lost in my dealings...
Wearing a condom won't prevent the seeds I'll leave in you.
The anguish, confusion, and vulnerability will seethe in you,
While in my hangover, I'll ponder less on what I see in you,
And more on how relieving it was to put that "D" in you.
You'll reread the texts, regret the sex,
And hate that you got caught up in thinking ahead to what would be next.
I was living in the moment...
You were blinded by what you thought it all meant.
I wasn't at all being thoughtful...
I simply sent you the message I found in a bottle.

-A. Lewis