Saturday, November 12, 2011

A Freestyle Piece: C.P.R. - 11/12/11

"Why do I write to women? Because I've met so many of the right women. It just so happened to be the wrong time...which is like having the right poem with the wrong line...it doesn't work. It doesn't fit. But I swear on everything that those ladies are legit. One's off at school and even though I hide it, I miss her dearly. If you knew how I felt you'd see it clearly. She was the first to steal my heart, and she still has a piece. Her well being will forever play a part in my inner peace. I told her I would marry her; that's how much I enjoyed her presence. Now, I haven't seen or talked to her in so long that I'd probably be bewildered by her essence. I can't put into words how much I care, but I can guarantee that there will always be nothing but love right there. I couldn't help but become attached...it was as though I'd found my match. Maybe one day she'll come back. There's another one that's special but we rarely speak. I had strong feelings just to find out that hers were weak. She said I did nothing wrong. I felt I tried too hard for too long, just to fall short of wooing the young lady I wanted to court. Her future means a lot to me...her loveliness in the present got to me, and her past is likely what put a stop to me. No hard feelings lie in between, just a bit of distance. But if she ever needed a thing, I'd be there in an instant. Then there's the two that got to me too early...if I could, I would go back, and I know that surely. One's God-fearing and creative, the other can always make me smile; the first is a cherished friend, the second makes me wonder what could've been, though I haven't seen or heard from either one in a while. Both of them cared about me before I truly did...so I tried to push them away like an unruly kid. I thanked God when they came back, saw it as progress. Loving oneself is a process, and they played important parts. I just wish I could've been kinder to their hearts. Can't forget about the young one...been enamored with her for years. She's always been so far ahead of all of her peers. Watched her grow up in front of my eyes; always felt like we should've dated, but she made questionable choices with guys. I was never upfront about my feelings though, worked around my feelings so...I ended up as a friend. Felt like that was good, I knew I'd hold her down 'til the end. Love to see her smile, can't wait to see her shine. She'll do great things, whether she's with someone else or she ends up being mine. There are many other greats that I'll choose not to praise. I don't hear from them at all; our time talking was just a phase. I don't blame them though, it went both ways. I did too much too soon and they never did enough; you can't text a girl 'good morning' if she doesn't care when you wake up. What's a date to a girl with multiple offers on her plate? Can't expect her to commit when guys are so easy for her to replace. That's enough of all that though, I'll just say I learned my lessons; I know I missed out on some blessings. They missed out on one too. I hope I at least broke down some walls so the next guy can come through. Just some contemplation...on my past relations...seeking emotional resuscitation through gaining perspective on situations and their respective iterations..."










-A. Lewis

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