As I strive to be what I contrive to be
But it seems as though America lied to me
Portraying me and my kind to be fastidious
And keeping us in dwellings so insidious
It’s hideous, the truth I mean
Because I’ve seen how obscene
She can be, She can see but refuses to speak
He r tongue never sheds due light on my plight
My night is one of fear, and She knows why…
See,
I’m a brother born to a single mother
Mom and dad lusted for,
But couldn’t stand each other
Born where else but the hood,
Taught that what was bad was really good
And that what I shouldn’t I should
So my surroundings reared me
Liquor and dollar stores were the only thing near me
Clearly that was all I was meant to know
Before it ever got cold I learned about snow
The white was right and by rite I was to deal it
Apparently my father used to feel it,
Fillet the edges, and make it look nice
My block made my block look twice
Cooked more than my mom, though I never fed her
Couldn’t give her any of my dough ‘cuz she knew of my fetter,
My cheddar attracted all kinds of hoodrats,
I was a straight-A student making good stacks
But soon my veins became pavement,
My heart a stop sign
I couldn’t keep pulling my people down,
Not with a sound mind
It was the books or streets,
Although I had a white soul
Wanted to do right by mom,
So the white sold,
And I put the pen to the paper
SAT scores out the roof, ready to tell the hood ‘see you later’
But the white bothered me,
White men on the beat drawing white men in the street,
White stains in the hall of my apartment,
Girls who made those headed to the WIC department
This place, brought tears to my face
Bred to believe that this is all we can achieve?
The white envelope held my acceptance letter
Told mom, that when I got done, we would live better
Next day she got robbed, next week lost her job
And so it came again: streets or the books
I remember how all of the brothers gave me dirty looks
Because they knew that I knew what success took,
I went, back to streets
Rather than going to college rocking some pleats,
Every bullet that went by, brought a tear to my eye
Because the next day another mother had to ask why,
So I did just enough, boy it was rough
Some days just one decision away from the handcuffs,
And as I did these dubious deeds, I realized just how dubious these,
Pernicious police were, lying in wake just to cause another wake,
Instigating instead of investigating, they were just dealers with badges
Contracted to make sure we stayed as uneducated hood asses,
Making deals with snitches, using them then turning them in to be jail bitches
Hell hitches onto you when you’re on these streets, the sins you commit
Are known to permit addictions of the worst kind, but I was the first kind
To quit it all, because I refused to be used to make my brothers fall
The cops didn’t solve crimes because they needed us on the street at all times,
To keep each other down, motivation I had found and so I acted
Bought a suitcase and packed it, decided to go to school and be the next Obama
To save my people and take care of my mama,
But She wouldn’t have it…
She knew of the damage I could do,
And wouldn’t let it happen
She realized that I didn’t want to ‘make it’ from rapping
Nor did I want to continue trapping
I wanted better, and would not let Her,
Keep me down
So She sent them to beat me down
As I made my last rounds,
I was on my last stop and got stopped by a cop
Tried to get me to be 10-cents,
Said if I did it I’d get a sixpence,
But when I refused he got tense, shoved me against a fence,
I moved my hands back in preparation for the ‘cuffs
He would use this as “he was getting tough”
So he tased me, I didn’t want to be shocked to death so I fought back
Then he blazed me.
The officer resigned in silence,
The hood erupted in violence,
Perpetuating her stereotypes,
All of those nights, I didn’t know it,
But this was my destiny
Things ended the best for me:
I was an instrument of change,
Sent to open eyes
The cops can be dirty
And can fabricate lies
They keep us down
And keep our souls going up
But after more stories like mine
We may one day have had enough.
