Thursday, September 20, 2012

Whatever Became Of You - 09/20/12

"I wonder whatever became of you...
Once my proudest sight,
You're now someone I'm ashamed to view.
I'm not ashamed of you,
Just of what happened.
We went from congratulations and people clapping
To an ideal state of romantic dates, something out of a dream while napping
To us being lost in love, struggling with mapping,
To arguments that could only be described as energy-sapping.
I wanted to get away, to leave it all and run...
But there's no such thing as a clean break when dirt has been done.
So we fell apart,
Cloud Nine disintegrating into thunderstorms,
Eden invaded by impurities,
Perfection being impugned by the mirror.
Without showers of affection,
My imagination became afflicted with drought...
Your love was difficult to go without.
Nightmares of separation had come to fruition,
While dreams of you faded without an intermission.
Intermittent regrets flashed in my mind as though beamed from a distant lighthouse,
A beacon in the emotional tempest you left in your wake.
Heading toward it was bound to be a mistake,
An error that would haunt me with the ghosts of second guesses.
So instead, I headed for the shore,
The surest sign of sanity,
The home of my humanity as I vanquished you to your oceans of vanity.
I looked only ahead as I loved and lost,
Leaning on my own strength to avoid looking back.
Eye contact would've been the weakness you needed to once again attack.
Presently, the present me is definitely greater than the one you left in shambles.
I often wonder how many others have gambled on loving you,
Knowing you can only love yourself...
I wonder how many others had to feel the whimsical whirlwind become a malicious maelstrom,
How many others had to watch intimacy fall to intense irony,
Had to have their sandcastles washed away from the inside out.
I thought you floated in on destiny, yet you drifted away on doubts.
After bouts with muddy thoughts, my picture and future both became very clear...
I healed; I am now in control of how I feel,
And I now love another with no residual fear.
But there are some times where I recall when you were here,
And how much I wanted you near.
While no part of me, not in spirit, heart, nor mentally, still holds you dear,
Whispers of the past still drift into my ears.
They remind me of current scars and previous tears...
And as I ponder if any effects that I had on you still show after all these years,
A shadow of who you were is cast yonder.
The light of my life quickly tears it asunder,
But, I can't help but wonder:
Whatever became of you?"

-A. Lewis