Pieces Of A Man...Early September Posts - 09/07/09

I...I find it hard to hug you...for my dreams and desires to be here, in a tangible form...it scares me. To clearly see what I've wanted, and now have it literally within my grasp is beyond my scope of understanding...your existence baffles me, yet I cannot deny that it betters my own...my dear, I am but a young man, still learning and growing...but you, you are a woman...majestic, beautiful, and understanding.

To see who I am, you must see who I'm not...I do not exist as me explicitly, there is an implicit duplicity, a subtle duality that you mustn't see as a fallacy. Whether expressing feelings or just having playful banter, know that I always speak in candor. Despite my best efforts to do right, I can sometimes be wrong, and that's when your understanding must come along; I'm not yet Mr. Perfect, but I am Mr. Worth It.

I mean nothing perverse, but how about we put things in reverse, you get inside me, even get behind me, then go straight for my walls, knocking at them until they all fall, and then to you I come, drip drip as the water runs, you'll have me open wide, then you go back inside, this time coasting to the end, this how I became your lover, but how you become my girlfriend.

Explanation of the above: It's a play on the entire experience: of course, the guy did all those things in a sexual manner ("come...drip drip" is akin to a woman actually "cumming" [sp. check] aka dripping) which is "how he became her lover." However, he asks for a metaphorical reversal, where she gets inside his head, supports him (gets behind him), knocks the walls around his heart down. At that point the real him "comes," dripping tears, as he has been opened as a person. As she continues to get to know him ("go back inside") they fall in love.

I'm playing some melodies, wishing someone would come mellow me, but I mean that so mellowly, she has to enter so carefully, since my defenses are tough apparently, and she doesn't have to care for me, as long as she can care for we, then I shall care for thee, open up the air for thee, so that thou can fly so merrily, then ask thou to marry me, so that I may carry thee, to the land of ecstacy, giving thee the best of me.

How could I help myself? What did you expect me to do? I am but a descendant of Adam...I may have constitutions as a man, but you are like that proverbial apple...so alluring...so perfect...I just had to have you...and if I am condemned, I may rest knowing I tasted the flesh of an angel on this measly hodgepodge of dirt and water we call Earth...I was able to feel purity...oh how holy it felt...you sweet sin.

(continued)

No punishment Lucifer could offer could even come close to matching or even supplanting the pleasure you gave me...it was like making love to the essence of pure love, unadulterated and uncensored....I felt as though I had died, gone to heaven, and my soul was being cleansed by God himself. If only that had been the case...instead I bathed in sin, ... Read Moreusing the soap of philandering...oh how dirty it feels to know the truth of what I've done. The truth may set you free, but it only freed me from the ecstacy of my actions, just to be fettered by the consequences of said actions. It matters not though...I was bound to sin, being that I am a man...and so I could only thank the Lord that I sinned so beautifully...your hair was like Egyptian cotton, skin softer than a cloud but skin more inviting than a fire-warmed log cabin in the middle of the blizzard-ridden Canadian wilderness. So I ask again...how could I resist?

(continued)

Resistance was futile...you were a vision of beauty, paragonic in every way...and as a man, my eyes speak more to me than my common sense...I failed to yield to my better judgment. You were there, willing, and so was I, and from there my other head took over. I knew it was wrong, but the wrong was lost in the rite of passage...if Adam could do it, ... Read Moreand condemn the entire sex, how could I resist? You didn't help. Glowing with a light that drew me in like a mosquito...and may not have sucked your blood, but I surely did get my fill of it. I knew what would come of it though...damnation. And sure enough, no sooner than the deed was done did I begin to feel as though darkness was permeating the fiber of my being...as though I was being ordained to do this again, making it my business...oh how wrong was I to take the first bite of that apple...I will never taste a sin so sweet again, but I will continue to devour that apple until it is gone...and at that point, my hunger will devour me.

-A. Lewis