I...I find it hard to hug you...for my dreams and desires to be here, in a tangible form...it scares me. To clearly see what I've wanted, and now have it literally within my grasp is beyond my scope of understanding...your existence baffles me, yet I cannot deny that it betters my own...my dear, I am but a young man, still learning and growing...but you, you are a woman...majestic, beautiful, and understanding.
To see who I am, you must see who I'm not...I do not exist as me explicitly, there is an implicit duplicity, a subtle duality that you mustn't see as a fallacy. Whether expressing feelings or just having playful banter, know that I always speak in candor. Despite my best efforts to do right, I can sometimes be wrong, and that's when your understanding must come along; I'm not yet Mr. Perfect, but I am Mr. Worth It.
I mean nothing perverse, but how about we put things in reverse, you get inside me, even get behind me, then go straight for my walls, knocking at them until they all fall, and then to you I come, drip drip as the water runs, you'll have me open wide, then you go back inside, this time coasting to the end, this how I became your lover, but how you become my girlfriend.
Explanation of the above: It's a play on the entire experience: of course, the guy did all those things in a sexual manner ("come...drip drip" is akin to a woman actually "cumming" [sp. check] aka dripping) which is "how he became her lover." However, he asks for a metaphorical reversal, where she gets inside his head, supports him (gets behind him), knocks the walls around his heart down. At that point the real him "comes," dripping tears, as he has been opened as a person. As she continues to get to know him ("go back inside") they fall in love.
I'm playing some melodies, wishing someone would come mellow me, but I mean that so mellowly, she has to enter so carefully, since my defenses are tough apparently, and she doesn't have to care for me, as long as she can care for we, then I shall care for thee, open up the air for thee, so that thou can fly so merrily, then ask thou to marry me, so that I may carry thee, to the land of ecstacy, giving thee the best of me.
How could I help myself? What did you expect me to do? I am but a descendant of Adam...I may have constitutions as a man, but you are like that proverbial apple...so alluring...so perfect...I just had to have you...and if I am condemned, I may rest knowing I tasted the flesh of an angel on this measly hodgepodge of dirt and water we call Earth...I was able to feel purity...oh how holy it felt...you sweet sin.
(continued)
No punishment Lucifer could offer could even come close to matching or even supplanting the pleasure you gave me...it was like making love to the essence of pure love, unadulterated and uncensored....I felt as though I had died, gone to heaven, and my soul was being cleansed by God himself. If only that had been the case...instead I bathed in sin, ... Read Moreusing the soap of philandering...oh how dirty it feels to know the truth of what I've done. The truth may set you free, but it only freed me from the ecstacy of my actions, just to be fettered by the consequences of said actions. It matters not though...I was bound to sin, being that I am a man...and so I could only thank the Lord that I sinned so beautifully...your hair was like Egyptian cotton, skin softer than a cloud but skin more inviting than a fire-warmed log cabin in the middle of the blizzard-ridden Canadian wilderness. So I ask again...how could I resist?
(continued)
Resistance was futile...you were a vision of beauty, paragonic in every way...and as a man, my eyes speak more to me than my common sense...I failed to yield to my better judgment. You were there, willing, and so was I, and from there my other head took over. I knew it was wrong, but the wrong was lost in the rite of passage...if Adam could do it, ... Read Moreand condemn the entire sex, how could I resist? You didn't help. Glowing with a light that drew me in like a mosquito...and may not have sucked your blood, but I surely did get my fill of it. I knew what would come of it though...damnation. And sure enough, no sooner than the deed was done did I begin to feel as though darkness was permeating the fiber of my being...as though I was being ordained to do this again, making it my business...oh how wrong was I to take the first bite of that apple...I will never taste a sin so sweet again, but I will continue to devour that apple until it is gone...and at that point, my hunger will devour me.
-A. Lewis
Monday, September 7, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
More Randoms From August - 8/29/09
"And when we held hands, I felt as though I touched Heaven, for only an angel's touch could be so tender; the warmth of your caress upon my face was like the light of God, blistering down upon me with effulgent grace and incalescent love. Such a blessing art thou, and I give thanks for thee every day."
"Results are but eventuations of actions; the two may be concomitant, but one comes OF the other, not WITH the other. Thus, we must shift our focus, from the result to the action. For no matter what, the action takes place. Whether the results are negative or positive, the action occurs. An example would be speaking: no matter how people take what you say, they still had to listen to it because you spoke up."
-A. Lewis
"Results are but eventuations of actions; the two may be concomitant, but one comes OF the other, not WITH the other. Thus, we must shift our focus, from the result to the action. For no matter what, the action takes place. Whether the results are negative or positive, the action occurs. An example would be speaking: no matter how people take what you say, they still had to listen to it because you spoke up."
-A. Lewis
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
To Confess, To Profess; Of Congress, Of Progress - 8/14/09
If I told you I loved you, you wouldn't believe it
But this mental intercourse we have could birth love, if you'll conceive it
I know you think I'll leave you while you're in the throes of love, but baby I got you
You see, I could never imagine feeling this way with a woman that's not you.
Sure there were other females before you,
But they surely were not women,
For it takes a true woman to wrest the essence of a man out of a boy.
I was but a striking young lad,
Illusioned with visions of the fun to be had;
Had I known that puberty was not puberty,
But the mere birth of the male essence within me,
I would not have taken the path I so hastily chose.
Once my testicles dropped, the blood rushed down from my head
With the fervor with which a river flows.
Tender blows,
Were delivered to my innocence the night I lost my virginity.
At that point, I perceived myself a man,
Inherently and involuntarily conceding that the constant inflation of my ego was the plan.
I baffled women, for they could not understand how a guy that came off
Sweet, securing, and appealing
Could be so pigheaded, and treat them like dirt after admitting feelings.
They did not see that it was all about my ego,
That hurt and scorn would follow anywhere we'd go
And that it would take them a quarter lifetime to see so.
Any all measures I considered just, when in the conquest to bust.
It was that simple.
If there was one female I wanted but couldn't get,
Never did I fret because there were more to hit.
But then...I got raped.
Never before had a woman gotten into my head...
And you, you really were a woman.
You made love to my thoughts when I didn't consent,
Concentrating on mind and soul while neglecting body.
You took away what I was ironically in control of,
For I controlled my body while fettered by my ego.
You touched my deepest thoughts without asking, without trying,
You broke me down without prying.
No longer was there some aesthetic Anubis,
But a fragile boy shrouded in immaturity
Plagued by selfishness
Reared by repression of self.
You gave that boy a hug, and he fell in love.
From that moment, my true puberty began,
As I climb tirelessly up the steps to manhood.
But to complete this journey, not only must I traverse myself;
Not only must I subjugate my ego to be better
Must I free my actions from their fetters
Must I efface myself to the level of man
Must I walk in reverse down the path I ran,
I must also accept something:
That I was not a man, before I knew you
That I as a man, will do nothing hurtful to you
That as a man, I will uphold honesty and sincerity
And that my actions will be ripe with moral clarity.
I doth solemnly swear to uphold these claims and more
For I am now a man and a man hath things he stands for.
I desire to be the best man that I can be,
And that entails you clearing a path for me
I want your love in my life, to show me who I need to become
So that you and I can make the passionate leap to being one
I need your compassion to keep my heart tender
So that I may love this world and all its splendor
For in you lies the seeds to my growth as a man
And to you now I extend my hand.
So please my love, join me on this journey we call life
So that we may discover and enjoy it all together, as man and wife.
-A. Lewis
But this mental intercourse we have could birth love, if you'll conceive it
I know you think I'll leave you while you're in the throes of love, but baby I got you
You see, I could never imagine feeling this way with a woman that's not you.
Sure there were other females before you,
But they surely were not women,
For it takes a true woman to wrest the essence of a man out of a boy.
I was but a striking young lad,
Illusioned with visions of the fun to be had;
Had I known that puberty was not puberty,
But the mere birth of the male essence within me,
I would not have taken the path I so hastily chose.
Once my testicles dropped, the blood rushed down from my head
With the fervor with which a river flows.
Tender blows,
Were delivered to my innocence the night I lost my virginity.
At that point, I perceived myself a man,
Inherently and involuntarily conceding that the constant inflation of my ego was the plan.
I baffled women, for they could not understand how a guy that came off
Sweet, securing, and appealing
Could be so pigheaded, and treat them like dirt after admitting feelings.
They did not see that it was all about my ego,
That hurt and scorn would follow anywhere we'd go
And that it would take them a quarter lifetime to see so.
Any all measures I considered just, when in the conquest to bust.
It was that simple.
If there was one female I wanted but couldn't get,
Never did I fret because there were more to hit.
But then...I got raped.
Never before had a woman gotten into my head...
And you, you really were a woman.
You made love to my thoughts when I didn't consent,
Concentrating on mind and soul while neglecting body.
You took away what I was ironically in control of,
For I controlled my body while fettered by my ego.
You touched my deepest thoughts without asking, without trying,
You broke me down without prying.
No longer was there some aesthetic Anubis,
But a fragile boy shrouded in immaturity
Plagued by selfishness
Reared by repression of self.
You gave that boy a hug, and he fell in love.
From that moment, my true puberty began,
As I climb tirelessly up the steps to manhood.
But to complete this journey, not only must I traverse myself;
Not only must I subjugate my ego to be better
Must I free my actions from their fetters
Must I efface myself to the level of man
Must I walk in reverse down the path I ran,
I must also accept something:
That I was not a man, before I knew you
That I as a man, will do nothing hurtful to you
That as a man, I will uphold honesty and sincerity
And that my actions will be ripe with moral clarity.
I doth solemnly swear to uphold these claims and more
For I am now a man and a man hath things he stands for.
I desire to be the best man that I can be,
And that entails you clearing a path for me
I want your love in my life, to show me who I need to become
So that you and I can make the passionate leap to being one
I need your compassion to keep my heart tender
So that I may love this world and all its splendor
For in you lies the seeds to my growth as a man
And to you now I extend my hand.
So please my love, join me on this journey we call life
So that we may discover and enjoy it all together, as man and wife.
-A. Lewis
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
How I Feel About Ladies I've Liked Or Had Crushes On - 8/11/09
"I feel like I missed out on them, but I can't really regret it/If I'd had any of them I wouldn't be going where I'm headed/Even though it never worked, I dislike none of them/I have love and respect for each and every one of them/They were all beautiful both inside & out/Prodigious women, and of that there's no doubt/I wish them all the best and hope we don't drift apart/I'm glad I know them, mean it from my heart."
-A. Lewis
-A. Lewis
The Flower of Love - 8/11/09
"How love is like a rose, a seed planted by attraction, based in the soil of trust, rooted to a stem of commitment, supported by the sunshine of affection, nourished by the rain of communication, budding at that profoundly unequivocal moment of self-realization to open the bloom of romance."
-A. Lewis
-A. Lewis
A Natural Beauty - 8/11/09
"She had svelte curves that were striking like lightning, an attitude fierce like the rumble of thunder, a love that cascaded down upon me like sheets of torrential rain, and a mind that shined like that sun on a cloudless day...oh what a natural beauty she was, spectacular like the Northern and Southern lights, more vibrant than a rainbow in the mist of a waterfall, prettier than the crystal clear waters of Bora Bora."
-A. Lewis
-A. Lewis
Knowledge Is Dropped Again - 8/11/09
"To everyone looking for the 'perfect' person, I pose a question: what could you do for him or her? What could you possibly have to offer to someone that is perfect? The idea is to find someone with whom you complement. If the two of you can make each other better, grow, and make each other happy, you will become the perfect people for each other. Love isn't about the perfect people for each other. Love isn't about the perfect person, it's about perfecting your match."
"Too often do we preconceive what love has in store for us, which is why we miss out on good people. To truly be ready for love is to love and accept yourself, the way you would want someone else to, not to have defined what you want down to a T. At that point, someone will come along that you can grow and be happy with, the two things that a relationship should do for you. Look for completion, not perfection."
-A. Lewis
"Too often do we preconceive what love has in store for us, which is why we miss out on good people. To truly be ready for love is to love and accept yourself, the way you would want someone else to, not to have defined what you want down to a T. At that point, someone will come along that you can grow and be happy with, the two things that a relationship should do for you. Look for completion, not perfection."
-A. Lewis
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