A Brief Letter to a Bad B*tch - 2/9/13

I know.
I know you have issues,
That you've spent cold nights with wet tissues,
Tissues featuring smudges blacker than the scars on your soul.
It's ironic that while you believe your heart is made of gold,
You portray it as nothing but glitter and complain when it's cheaply sold.
I guess self-fulfilling prophecies never get old.
You would rather be right about the wrong things...
Rather ignore something big to harp on the small things.
But you can't expect to reach big dreams with small wings.
There is so much greatness within you.
More than you know. ...even more than you show.
What you think lies between your thighs,
Is trumped by what lies behind your eyes.
Sexual proficiency...emotional deficiency...mental inefficiency.
You know how to lay down...
Your emotions? You play down...
Whenever you think you should leave? You stay down.
But things shouldn't be the same now.
You're capable of so much more.
I know.
I know because I've seen the sparkle in your eye.
I've seen how intense you are when you really try.
Love has yielded nothing more than hatred,
But you must recall you've dealt with sinners that didn't consider your temple sacred.
They saw what they wanted and decided to take it,
Not considering that love is, and can only be, what you make it.
If love was shown to them in the dictionary, they'd probably still mistake it.
And in search of something real, you found ways to fake it.
Considering all of your defenses, I don't think any of them ever really saw you naked.
And despite being inside of you, none of them ever really penetrated.
Relations were being demonstrated,
and relationships were being implicated,
But reservations were being instigated.
You wanted to commit, but you were too afraid.
They never planned on committing, but acted as stand-up guys to get laid.
In sad irony, you resorted to mind games, hoping not to get played.
I know.
I know that you want something different, something intimate.
However, you'll date the wrong guy to be right upfront,
Rather than take a chance and possibly end up wrong a few months into it.
Courting seems laborious...and even though you'd never want to be notorious,
You wish you didn't have to go through that "get-to-know" phase.
Smokescreens have left you in a haze; sex has left you in a daze.
It's as though you're in a trance, doing it all in the same ways.
Familiarity makes it all easier...safer.
But if you don't change now, the world will change later.
Your purpose is much greater than being a pleasure for men,
While to yourself being a traitor,
Exchanging self-love for lust as a misled trader.
I know.
I know because I've paid attention...
Whenever your true feelings are mentioned,
I'm the one that listens.
I enjoy our friendship.
I see your future glisten.
I see the good in you, the part you seem to keep missing.
My dear friend, you are a queen...assume your position.

-A. Lewis

Whatever Became Of You - 09/20/12

"I wonder whatever became of you...
Once my proudest sight,
You're now someone I'm ashamed to view.
I'm not ashamed of you,
Just of what happened.
We went from congratulations and people clapping
To an ideal state of romantic dates, something out of a dream while napping
To us being lost in love, struggling with mapping,
To arguments that could only be described as energy-sapping.
I wanted to get away, to leave it all and run...
But there's no such thing as a clean break when dirt has been done.
So we fell apart,
Cloud Nine disintegrating into thunderstorms,
Eden invaded by impurities,
Perfection being impugned by the mirror.
Without showers of affection,
My imagination became afflicted with drought...
Your love was difficult to go without.
Nightmares of separation had come to fruition,
While dreams of you faded without an intermission.
Intermittent regrets flashed in my mind as though beamed from a distant lighthouse,
A beacon in the emotional tempest you left in your wake.
Heading toward it was bound to be a mistake,
An error that would haunt me with the ghosts of second guesses.
So instead, I headed for the shore,
The surest sign of sanity,
The home of my humanity as I vanquished you to your oceans of vanity.
I looked only ahead as I loved and lost,
Leaning on my own strength to avoid looking back.
Eye contact would've been the weakness you needed to once again attack.
Presently, the present me is definitely greater than the one you left in shambles.
I often wonder how many others have gambled on loving you,
Knowing you can only love yourself...
I wonder how many others had to feel the whimsical whirlwind become a malicious maelstrom,
How many others had to watch intimacy fall to intense irony,
Had to have their sandcastles washed away from the inside out.
I thought you floated in on destiny, yet you drifted away on doubts.
After bouts with muddy thoughts, my picture and future both became very clear...
I healed; I am now in control of how I feel,
And I now love another with no residual fear.
But there are some times where I recall when you were here,
And how much I wanted you near.
While no part of me, not in spirit, heart, nor mentally, still holds you dear,
Whispers of the past still drift into my ears.
They remind me of current scars and previous tears...
And as I ponder if any effects that I had on you still show after all these years,
A shadow of who you were is cast yonder.
The light of my life quickly tears it asunder,
But, I can't help but wonder:
Whatever became of you?"

-A. Lewis

I Once Fell In Love With The Sun - 7/28/12

I once fell in love with the Sun.
Bright and beautiful, she was.
Never had my heart been so warmed,
Never had my heart been so charmed.
Light emanated from her smile,
Effervesced in her eyes,
And excited my mind.
There were flings and flames before her,
But none could compare.
Even on her worst days,
I was touched by the first waves of her heat.
No cloud could obfuscate the great, innate shine of her soul.
It was as if my skies had been brightened by a molten orb of the finest gold.
I once fell in love with the Sun.
But alas, I was on the ground, and she was magnificently perched in the sky.
My admiration fell on deaf rays; no voice could reach so high.
It would soon become a conundrum,
A quandary of sorts.
I felt loved when she blanketed me with her simmering sparkles, of course,
But my feelings felt unrequited since there was no proximity or discourse.
I couldn't express myself. I could never get close enough.
Prose would prove to be a most productive outlet,
But it typically felt like I never wrote enough.
She gave me a shadow.
It was devoid of features, a clear indication that she simply saw me for me.
I once fell in love with the Sun,
And as each day comes and goes, I wish that together we could be.
Most assume that I would burn like the wings of Icarus,
And fall victim to flames behind the light,
But I know that behind the fire, a gentle soul lies.
She simply wants to be appreciated for who she is, not what she provides,
How perfectly she curves at her sides, or how stunning she is to the eyes.
See, the Sun is a star too divine to simply twinkle.
She glows in golden rays.
I once fell in love with the Sun,
And I want the story told this way:
Despite making my skies brighter and setting my soul on fire,
The greatest thing she did for me,
Was inspiring me to reach new heights and set my goals even higher.
There is no conclusion,
Only a tale for the ages.
Two lovers in the same book,
But only on different pages.
I once fell in love with the Sun,
And continue to do so daily.

-A. Lewis

The Sweetest Thing (Guilty Pleasure) - 7/11/12

Fields of sugarcane in my mind...
Syrupy sentiments rain from cognitive clouds of cotton candy.
You are the sweetest thing I've ever known.
My mind was running in circles until it tripped over one of the gumdrops you left...
Now I'm swimming in feelings sweeter than Southern cane tea.
The Gingerbread man must be sprinkling sugar in my dreams,
Replacing the Sandman's plans to soothe me with sands.
Instead, I smile subconsciously at hugs under Kool-Aid waterfalls,
Kisses crafted by Hershey's,
And breezes laden with the aroma of cinnamon rolls.
'Tis a love as fresh as warm, soft chocolate chip cookies,
Accompanied by ice cream dreams and thoughts of delectable things.
Each conversation is like a Pixy Stick, filled with intense flavor,
The kind that lingers like semantic Now and Laters.
My favorite three-layer cake features sexy curves,
A beautiful mind,
And a warm center, a sweet heart of caramel.
You're a slice special enough for my birthday.
So even on your worst day,
I'll still want you like I never should've had you in the first place.
My dear guilty pleasure...
I'm guilty of enjoying your love with every measure.

-A. Lewis

Constellations - 7/10/12

Our souls are galaxies;
Our minds are universes;
Our hearts are suns;
Our traits are stars.
Passion is our suns in proximity, creating conflagrations.
Love is connecting our dots, seeing the constellations.
I can be your Orion, your warrior.
You can be my Andromeda, my strong-minded wife.
And when our love burns brightly,
It shall be the North Star for those in love who are lost,
A point of reference, a point of reverence.
What we represent will be greater than who we are,
Much like how astronomy is greater than simply naming the stars.
It is understanding what they mean, what each constellation projects.
Constellations show relations between the divine placements of celestial objects.
That proves that our souls are galaxies;
Our minds are universes;
Our hearts are suns;
Our traits are stars.
Growth is allowing stars to die and shift, forming new combinations.
Love is connecting our dots, seeing the constellations.

-A. Lewis

Lines In The Sand (Promises) - 7/8/12

Draw a line in the sands of time, if you feel so compelled.
I'll watch the flow events wash it away with happenings you couldn't foretell.
The unexpected will change you. I am certain.
I'll say something "wrong," or some unforeseeable event will take place;
You'll be transformed by emotions, take it out on me, then apologize later to save face.
I'm all for promises, but only in a particular way.
You must be careful with what you say; life will test your word.
It's absurd to think that anything is more sacrosanct than the passage of time itself.
Nothing can encroach upon it, so do not waste your breath,
Delineating which actions are outside of your personality.
When life puts you under certain combinations of stress and pressure,
You tend to see and react to a different reality.
Time is consistent; promise me you'll be the same.
Tell me what you WILL do; not how you won't change.
Time is always running, so sand is constantly collecting on top of us.
When it rains, it becomes even more cumbersome and much more difficult to deal with.
I'd rather be sure of what you'll do day-by-day,
Than of what you won't do when you're pressed by the sand mixing with the rain to become clay.
Don't waste your time drawing lines in the sand.
Instead, focus on how you'll live and grow with the ebb and flow of events in time.
Promise what you will, never what you won't.
You can't ever be sure of what time will do, which means you can never be sure of what you don't.

-A. Lewis

Stay Awhile - 7/6/12

Stay awhile.
Indulge me with your presence, intoxicate me with your essence;
Have my mind so gone that your body leaves it a message...
Leave me lingering on the last little bits of lust left over in my eye lashes from our lascivious glances.
Our pupils so delicately danced their slow dances.
Why would I read about romances when I can study the alluring symmetry that Universe has so graciously placed before me?
It'll take time for me to find differences between one side of you and the other...
Time that will be spent admiring what you were genetically gifted from your mother.
I could sex you for hours,
Think about you for days,
Support you for years,
Be with you for decades,
And love you for lifetimes.
Right now though, I just want you here. Next to me.
As your aura gets the best of me.
Our chemistry is as natural as respiration;
We could take each other's love without needing restoration.
This moment has no expiration.
It'll last as long as we choose, with no explanation.
No point of reference, no destination.
Just here, now.
The leading edge of reality, where darkness and light fight to define our existence, lies in the distance.
We'll leave it be.
What we've done is behind us; all I need you to do is be with me.
A memory will be made in this moment;
A unique experience will be had, and we'll never be able to clone it.
Take the time to fray my mind around its edges, and I'll separate you from the world so you won't forget this. Indulge me with your presence, intoxicate me with your essence;
Have my mind so gone that your body leaves it a message.
Stay awhile.

-A. Lewis